Insomnirap.

Just another hour,
it feels like I’m condemned
Every night’s the same night,
I’m sick and tired of 3am
My brain is overclocked,
over a million RPMs
My thoughts spin on and on and on,
fatigued without an end

Another hour passes by,
I’m a natural nighthawk
I come by it honestly, but
I don’t wanna see 6:00
Please, just let me go
or I may die in this deadlock
We keep circling round and round
straw men and post hocs

Just another week,
haven’t I atoned for my crimes?
You keep dragging me up,
but I wanna stay down this time
I just wanna close my eyes without
remembering your slime
I just wanna close my mind
and switch off the neon lights

Another month passes by,
but you still won’t disappear
You keep knocking, poking, prodding
on my eyes, nose, throat, and ears
I’ll slip through the cracks,
And pray that you won’t find me here
But you yank my strings and along I come
to face my puppeteer

Just another year,
I feel like I’ve already
The torture you’ve inflicted
has dulled against my hide
I’m thicker than rhinoceros,
my comments are dank and snide
Namaste away from me,
my mind is genocide

Namaste in bed because
sleep’s still all I want
I beg to slip away tonight,
but you just laugh and taunt
No matter how hard
my heart becomes,
you always return to haunt me
though it once seemed,
before my screams,
you were my dearest confidant

© Rylan Skelly, August 2018


About the Author: I have a B.A. in Honours Religious Studies from the University of Waterloo; I have a love for all major world religions – Eastern, Western, or in between; I’m genderqueer, and I’m comfortable with male, neutral, and female pronouns; I’m married to my dear wife Lynn, who is the love of my life, my best friend, and my muse; I think far too much, and often have too many ideas to know what to do with; and I am a doing being, just like you!

LGBTQ Mental Health Not Quite a Book Rap where were you when I needed you?

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Rylan Skelly View All →

I have a B.A. in Honours Religious Studies from the University of Waterloo; I have a love for all major world religions - Eastern, Western, or in between; I'm genderqueer, and I'm comfortable with male, neutral, and female pronouns; I'm married to my dear wife Lynn, who is the love of my life, my best friend, and my muse; and I am a doing being, just like you!

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